Friday, 11 January 2013

The hand that rocks the cradle

The full saying goes – “the hand the rocks the cradle, is the hand that rules the world”.
Every child shares an unbelievably close bond with their mother. What a mother eats, drinks, thinks or feels all go into shaping a child’s physical health, mannerisms and thought process. Mothers are asked to surround themselves with positive thoughts and friendly jovial people so that they are always in a happy state of mind when they are carrying their child in their womb. This theory is well substantiated by proof and hence we have no reason to disbelieve it. So if a mother can influence her child’s mental state while he is still within her, there is no reason why she cannot be a positive influence on his life throughout.  The hand that rocks his cradle can indeed be a great influence in ensuring the child grows up to be a law abiding, conscientious citizen.
Of course, there is no way that a person’s conduct depends solely on his mother, parents, upbringing and environment. Human beings are free thinkers and are exposed to numerous stimuli in their daily lives – which cannot be controlled by a parent or anyone else. But yes, largely, a mother’s influence on a child in his formative years can play a huge role in shaping the way he thinks.
Right now, society is at its lowest point. It has become increasingly unsafe for women to leave their houses late in the day, or even when there is bright sunshine. So mothers -  this is specifically targeted at you. Make sure, that right from the time your son is born, you teach him how to respect himself and others, especially women. We speak of respecting women primarily, given the state of women in society today.
Do not teach them that they are superior to their sisters; do not give them the idea that they are better because they are boys. Make sure your son learns how to share and does not grow up with the misguided notion that he is allowed to take what he wants because he is a man. Talk to your son when he makes remarks slighting women and their capabilities or their intelligence. Teach him that considering women to be inferior is a mark of weakness. When he is a young child in school, curb any intentions to bully others.
When he grows older discourage him to treat women as use and throw toys. Don’t accept his intentions to have many girlfriends. Teach him to commit and to take responsibilities. Women are not there for dates and physical pleasures alone.
Show your distaste for item numbers – when a child is growing up, if he sees his parents showing their disgust at underdressed women dancing to a tune, he will learn not to appreciate it either – even if it is in jest. Yes, boys will be boys, but the notion that this is not quite right will help him draw the boundaries when he has to.
Talk to him about women and sexual pleasure. Not of course, delving into the gory details, but ensuring that he views them both as parts of his life that are natural. Not to consider them as objects to wield power over or use as a tool of dominance. Teach him about moderation, so that he learns to not over indulge in excessive pleasures of alcohol, drugs or sex.
When he learns about sex and gender in his school, or when he is curious about Khajuraho, don’t behave as though these topics are taboo – speak to him and clear his doubts. Left un-channelled, this curiosity might have grave repercussions. Above all, do not laugh in your discomfiture, your son will imbibe the outlook that these are topics to be laughed about and hidden away.
Ingrain in him that his actions are his alone. That if he badmouths, abuses, hurts, assaults others he cannot explain it away by saying he was under the influence of alcohol or that people were asking for it. That the girl was “asking for it”. Tell him that if he is capable of such heinous crimes then he will have to suffer the consequences and no amount of money will be offered to bail him out.
If he participates in gender stereotyping, discourage it – if he makes fun of transgender, make sure you show your displeasure so that he understands it is wrong. Just because people are different that does not mean they do not have equal right to society and a decent life.
Above all, teach your son the values of a good human being. Tell him that the world and its people are there, not for him to exploit, but for him to learn from. Teach him that his mother too, is a woman and that if he respects her then there is no reason why he would not respect other women.
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Monday, 7 January 2013

my papa's beard

This post is a part of the 'Shave or Crave' movement in association with

One thing my dad loves and I hate is his beard. I just wish I could do something so that his beard would never ever grow back again.
Oooooo I hate it so much and he knows that very well, since my childhood every time his beard was 2-3 days big he use to rub it on my hand, many a times giving me rashes. Then he was the one to apply ointment on it (but this is not to be considered).
I have seen my parents fight on his beard.
Every time I and my mom went to my grandparent’s place without my dad for vacations. He utilized that time to grow and enjoy his beard.

What all I and my mom had to do to make him shave my goodness. There was this one time when he would not shave no matter what mom said and then it was the time for revenge (hahahaha!!!!!) U see dad has a sweet tooth (I would rather say in my dad’s case all his teeth are sweet). When ever we use to have ice cream, I would just pluck out one of his beard hair and put it in his ice cream. Obviously he hated me for that but I loved it so much that even now whenever he keeps his beard for enough no. of days that I can pluck a hair out I would do the same again. After I started doing this he finally shaved (since he can’t say anything to his princess) and after that one time he never keeps his beloved beard for more than 4-5 days.

Salomi <3

beard is weird

This post is a part of the 'Shave or Crave' movement in association with

Raj and Simran both got their first job in Mumbai. They met on bus stop every day since they use to live in same building and worked in same office. After few days they became friends. Not long time after that, this friendship turned into relationship.
One thing that Simran liked most about Raj was his clean shaved-properly washed and ironed clothes look.

One year passed smoothly, now both Raj and Simran where promoted. As soon as they were promoted things began to change, Raj all of a sudden stopped maintaining his clean shave look. And this irritated Simran to the bone. She tried convincing Raj in every possible way to stop behaving so weird and start shaving, but Raj now started taking Simran and his job for granted. He started looking like a homeless.
When things started to get out of hands, Simran decided to do something about it.
She approached Sameer, best friend of Raj and the best looking guy in their office to help her.

Now every time three of them are together Simran started giving Sameer especial attention, she would complement him for looking so good and clean; she started inviting Sameer to her flat whenever Raj was there for lunch or dinner. She started ignoring Raj just to make him jealous. And guess what ……….. the trick worked !!!!!!! Raj started shaving again, started ironing his shirts crisp like he use to do when they were friends just to impress her.

After continuing the drama for a week Simran decided to not disclose this whole thing in front of Raj as he would become his old self with his weird beard. And she of course loved the attention ;)
So she made him crave till he shaved and made her point that she can not be taken for granted even after such long relationship.  

love <3